"THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX, COLLAPSE THE BOX AND TAKE A FUCKING SHARp KNIFE TO IT." - BANKSY, WALL and Piece

---

HELLO JESUS

Hello Jesus.
Would you say Yes
to starring in a jocks
ad? Give them a derriere
view with a sidelong 
glance? GQ would love
you on their cover
with your 2+ billion
following but I doubt
you'd have an instagram
account. Or you might.
You were strategic,
subversive.
Hang with me
& they'll shoot us
bonding for 'Bonds'.*
____
Advertising satire published in The Weekend Australian Review, Spring 2020 | * popular, iconic underwear brand (Pacific Brands Underwear Group, Australia) |

THE MOST
​BEAUTIFUL
​WOMAN

The most beautiful woman
is unknown.  You did not know
the most beautiful woman in 1984.
She was my mother.
​
My mother chose my father
who was not the town king
of my mother's town when she was queen,
but lord he knew what he wanted.

My mother was wise 
before she was queen.  
I saw her rise in the mornings
and make herself Woman
and Teacher before the mirror.

I did not know what it meant
to be Woman, to be Teacher,
until I read the beauty magazines
and changed every woman's
picture with my mother's face.

Would the most beautiful woman
elected by the most beautiful magazine
walk the ugliest street and make it alive
to the Book of Guinness?

Would the most beautiful woman,
undressed and without hairbrush or film crew,
walk the earth for every ugly thing that’s made
her beauty worth $12million?

The most beautiful woman
is unknown. And naked and free
in a jungle outside New York.
___
Dedicated to my mother: first goddess i encountered. My first heroine, model of Woman and human, mentor, muse. 
​

FACE IT

this gift of grace is
an atrocity, damn platinum
circumscription of my
behaviour so that i maintain
this balanced performance
and not offend you when
what i really want to do is
strangle your stupidity
and mangle your face(book).
​

OBEY

Comply.
Eat with cutlery.
Acquire
a taste for caviar
& Mona Lisa.
And Jesus,
​invest in a night-dress.
​

BALLAD OF
​PHIL AND RAQUEL

consider phil : professional,
young, urban, mobile, fair.
phil's mate:  raquel, a natural
in all phil is. nice pair.

by bent phil moves with business haste.
so does raquel. their trade
demands rapidity : time waste
is sin where time's prepaid.

speed marks the way in business spheres.
from 8 till late phil speeds
through meals and deals. raquel's career's
contrived on like time's needs.

yet phil, employed, maintains his face;
raquel her suit to boot.
no panic in phil's face, no trace
of same in raquel's suit.

executive at 23,
fair, urban, mobile, wise  --
in glossy mags or on tv
phil's likeness doubles size.

raquel herself repeats phil's rule.
the couple beautify
business. young, urban, mobile, cool --
they strike the public eye.

phil and raquel do business good : 
make coolness one with haste,
make haste with coolness as they should
style looks, name, place, work, taste.

the public eye takes to the scene
of phil, raquel and such;
appreciates what models mean,
​sees business goodness much.
___
Advertising satire published in The Weekend Australian, MC student days.
​

SUM OF HER

she paid her bills on time.
the telephone company, her creditor,
the mortgagor, the water corporation --  
all did not once have to call or send
Account No. 60195748 crisp letters
(stamped with the eloquent stamp
of such magnificent institutions
and sealed in eloquent envelopes)
​detailing sums owed.
​

ALL WE SEE IS JOY

'All We See Is Joy' *
plays over and over
@ the big store
with the hurrying-scurrying
throng when half
the world is broken.
Oh let’s 'Win
The Motherload'.
Oh isn't the new
Apple thing exciting.
Again this season
the plutocrats are laughing.
___
Social commentary on * Westfield (Melbourne) | Christmas 2015 campaign
​

NOT A LIMERICK

you label sexist vocabulary
what observes principles of parity.
if females now equal males,
what use are further details?
​

NO

bodyless, invisible.
make me without a face
that will detest or will impress
where necessary. no trace
of whose identity,
​i don't want responsibility.

SHOP SIGN OFFS

SHOP ADDICT